My life was filled with chaos from the time I was born. My brain learned how to survive the chaos, but it locked away parts of me I forgot existed.
Parts of me swim in a sea of chaos and others drown just so that I can breathe.she swims in chaos description
My art is how I am coming to terms with having dissociative identity disorder, but rarely am I conscious of it in the moment. I definitely leave little Easter eggs in all my art, but even I find Easter eggs and that’s always fun.
Art is the only way some parts of me are able to communicate and at the same time it helps me understand, process, and heal.
I wanted to share some of that with you.
This artwork started by scanning the image above and beginning to digitally paint on it. You can only see half of it, though and it’s upside down.
Part of her is drowning in the chaos, but the other part of her is safe.
I grew up in chaos with parents who didn’t speak English, used corporal punishment, and were laborers with low-income. My brain locked away this part of me, my soul, early on to keep me alive and I thank the survivor part of me who’s been drowning this whole time.
I’m here now to help it breathe.
The chains and tape over the mouth represent not being able to be their own person. This part was taking the brunt in order for us to survive but also because we were not allowed to express our own emotions growing up. We had to do what was expected of us, not what we wanted to do.
Close up you can see the paper texture a bit from the scan and barely visible text in the upper right hand corner, help her.
I like that this almost looks like paper but obviously is not as you can see all the glitches. I really like to play with the space between digital and physical and I think it’s because I navigate something like that constantly with myself.
I go from my inner world to the world every single second.
This NFT is still available to collect on Makersplace.