I keep joking around with friends that I was getting a new brain during my time away from everything and everyone I knew. I really was as far as teaching my brain new neural pathways and still on that journey. 35 days isn’t enough time to undo 39 years of pathways set up for survival.
I’m now in the middle of a 5 week DBT (dialectical behavior therapy) intensive outpatient program before going on to do a trauma program.
I’ve been diagnosed with other specified dissociative disorder (OSDD) and as weird as it sounds, it was validating. I wasn’t just this broken anxiety, depressed shell of a person. I was someone who was traumatized and have been in survival mode my whole life.
Right now I’m on medical leave and not able to work but have been finding joy in creating a new collection, the sage collection, based on the art I did while I was in there.
I feel fortunate to have the opportunity to do this and a lot of is due to the NFT community. One cannot recover from trauma until new, healthy relationships are there.
It’s a collection of drawings made during my time at a mental health treatment center. They have been digitized and had finishing touches added to blend the physical with digital.
They also tell a story of how I went from despair, chaos to finding myself (and all my parts) and how art was an integral part of that. Art whether visual or written is how I can stay in communication with myself.
I launched the collection with feelings check-in because it was the first time I could see the sun a bit through the black fog of despair.
Each NFT in the sage collection tells a part of a story of my journey to healing and self-love. Every NFT is only listed for 24-72 hours before I burn any unsold editions. This is an important part of my processing now as I move on to my new life and leave the old me behind.
If you’ve been following my work you’ll notice a theme of tape over mouth and disembodied heads. This was parts of me trying to communicate that we were a system, the parts that were silenced and abandoned. I had abandoned myself and it was hard to face.
But there was wondermundo, a part of me encouraging me to keep going knowing how hard this journey would be. I would enter a battle with myself.
Parts of me started to feel safe and open up.
I connected with the scared parts, lonely parts, abandoned parts and began to gain more insight into myself.
I started to understand why my art dealt with video games and plugging in heads, parts in order to operate in our daily lives. The wonder system series of wondermundo was something I started before I even knew parts were within me.
This is my most special collection yet and will be rewarding collectors of these NFTs throughout the series.
Anyone who collects the first 8 will receive an airdrop of this one. It won’t be available for sale. The only way is to collect one of the first 8.
But wait…there’s more NFT rewards for collectors!
Only 7 have been minted and listed so there’s still plenty of time to collect.